This is one of those universal truths that is often hard to take:
All Things Change.
Good things, bad things, things you did and did not want to change.
Most of the time, I like change. Something new! Different!! Yay!
When I was a child, I made the mistake of thinking that everything would stay the same. Of course, I would grow up—I knew that. And I’d go to different classes, different schools … but wait, why aren’t my friends with me anymore? Oh yeah, they went to different classes, different schools.
When we’re young, we can’t imagine change too well because we haven’t experienced much of it. The older I get the easier it is to anticipate change and be ready for it.
It’s only been in the last decade or so that I’ve learned to initiate change. For far too long I was a passive person, having change forced on me. Even when situations weren’t all that pleasant, I was terrified of change. What if it got worse?
I expressed this thought to a dear friend of mind at one point and she changed my life when she replied, What if it gets better?
Woah. You mean it might get better? Really? What would that look like?
And you say I can change things myself? What would I want if I could make things a certain way?
Perhaps this is all part of growing up, but for me it was a profound understanding. I could make things happen just by working toward my vision.
I still have to remind myself that all things change, even my vision of what I want. People change, whether they want to admit it or not. One of the toughest things about marriage is dealing with change—in yourself, or in your spouse.
Even if I want a change, I can’t always express the new vision. “I want more satisfaction …”
Okay, what would that look like? Can you be more satisfied with what you have?
Um, okay, but that’s not what I mean. I want to be a better version of myself.
Okay, what is it that you don’t like about yourself now?
Eww, that means I have to look at myself honestly. Suddenly changing doesn’t sound all that fun.
Too bad, girl—change is coming anyway.
Suppose I look at myself honestly and what I see isn’t all that bad? I mean, it’s not as if I pull the wings off butterflies or anything. How can I change if I don’t know what to discard and what to keep?
I want to know that change will make me better. That I’ll be happier, in the long run, if I change.
Well, hasn’t it always happened that way in the past? Haven’t you always been happier once you’ve changed?
Oh. Yeah. Yeah, it has.
There you go.
I am happier now than I’ve ever been. Yeah, I know tough times are ahead—they always are. But I’ll get through.
You mean you know things will change, and you’re ok with that?
I guess so.
You guess so?
No. I’m certain.
Bring on the change … I’m ready for it.
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